Courting Equality

What better way to celebrate the third anniversary of the first legal same-sex marriages in U.S. history than at the release party for Courting Equality (Beacon Press), perhaps the most vivid rendering of the struggle to achieve and maintain marriage equality in Massachusetts — and more importantly perhaps, the profound impact it has had on LGBT couples and families — that will ever be put between hard covers.Courting Equality was authored by Pat Gozemba, co-chair of The History Project, and her spouse Karen Kahn, and illustrated with page upon glossy page of photos by Marilyn Humphries, a longtime Bay Windows contributor who has spent decades documenting the life of the local LGBT community. It’s required reading both for the thousands of revelers who celebrated the betrothed at Cambridge City Hall on May 17, 2004, when “the city block rocked with cheers at 12:01,” as Gozemba and Khan note, and those fair-minded folks who may still be uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex marriage.

For progressive activists Gozemba explains, Courting Equality serves to validate “what we have done to preserve equality for all people. We want progressives to see that and be proud of what their achievements have been and to bolster us as we go ahead to continue the struggle.” As for those less inclined to support equality, Gozemba hopes that they’ll see the book “and they’ll look at what the issues are, they’ll look at the political struggle and they’ll also look at the families, in particular, and see how critical this is to people” across the “whole spectrum of life,” from young couples with children to older folks facing their twilight years with limited resources. “People aren’t really thinking about how our lives are affected along the whole spectrum of life,” says Gozemba.

Gozemba, Kahn and Humphries will be signing copies at a book release party at the Cambridge YWCA from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. on May 16. ACLUM Executive Director Carol Rose will play host for festivities that will include remarks from Mary Bonauto, the Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders attorney who masterminded the Goodridge case. “It’s really a celebration of the launch of the book and a kind of rededication to preserve marriage equality,” Gozemba says of the event.

Thursday, April 26, 2007
Salem couple’s new book chronicles struggle for gay rights
By Alan Lupo

It’s been almost three years since gay people began legally marrying their partners in Massachusetts on a day in May, which happens to be the very month that my wife and I will be celebrating our 45th anniversary.

People with a lot of time on their hands and fear or ignorance in their hearts predicted that allowing gays to marry would sabotage the institution of traditional marriage.

Well, mine’s fine, as are the marriages of lots of male-female couples we know. If there are any glitches, such as, “Fah cryin’ out loud, will ya please clean up after yourself!!”, they have nothing to do with Frank and Harry enjoying their lives legally together.

The gay-marriage bashers haven’t given up. They continue to lobby the Legislature to allow citizens to vote someday in a referendum that they hope will negate the Nov. 18, 2003 state Supreme Judicial Court’s 4-3 decision that denying gays the right to marry violated the Massachusetts Constitution.

Perhaps not since those for and against slavery fought each other verbally and physically in the years before the Civil War has the Bay State witnessed such passion over an issue of essential fairness and dignity.

Three local women have captured the history and angst of that fight in a new book, “Courting Equality: A Documentary History of America’s First Legal Same-Sex Marriages,” published by Beacon Press.

The authors are Patricia A. Gozemba, a former professor of English and Women’s Studies at Salem State College, and Karen Kahn, former editor of “Sojourner: The Women’s Forum.” Gozemba and Kahn, married in 2005, live in Salem. The photographer is Marilyn Humphries of Beverly, a photojournalist for various publications over the last quarter-century.

Now, I do not do book reviews; but I must say that Gozemba and Kahn know how to write, and Humphries does with a camera what painters do with oils. They have put together a historic narrative that ought to be used in teaching journalism students how to write history and history majors how to write, period. Taste this, for example:

“The marble halls, the finely wrought furnishings, the historic murals, the aura of history that emanates from every inch of the State House usually seems much more majestic than the mundane business conducted there. Fast gaveling, a wink and a nod, backslapping, and arcane parliamentary procedures often leave the ordinary citizen lost in any attempt to follow a piece of legislation.

“Moments of genuine thoughtfulness, soul-searching, and stirring eloquence occur infrequently. Opportunities to extend justice and equality in a very broad sense are rare in the day-to-day work of legislators. But as the citizens of the commonwealth and the world would soon discover, given the opportunity, twenty-first-century legislators could rise to levels of eloquence, insightfulness, and passion equaling that of their predecessors whose words and austere portraits surround them.”

The book is the work of people who understand the politics and behind-the-scenes tactics that characterized how the gay-marriage issue played itself out over the years. They understand too well the history of bigotry and discrimination that forced gays to remain in the closet for so long as well as the courage it took for gays to come out of that closet and fight for the dignity due all humans.

The controversial court ruling, they wrote, “recognized individual rights to privacy in intimate relations and acknowledged that choosing one’s marriage partner is an essential part of exercising one’s freedom as a human being.”

Their book captures the emotions of legislators who had to confront something alien to their earlier beliefs, and of gay partners and their children who suddenly gained the societal and legal benefits of marriage.

There is no need for us to vote on this issue. Courts exist, in part, to protect the rights of minorities in a democracy.

As Justice John Greaney wrote in concurring with the majority in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, the landmark SJC decision, “Simple principles of decency dictate that we extend to the plaintiffs, and to their new status, full acceptance, tolerance, and respect. We should do so because it is the right thing to do.”

Let those who continue to oppose this most human and humane concept use their energy to confront our common concerns regarding poverty, street crime, and the lack of affordable housing or efficient transportation. Leave alone those who do not interfere in your traditional marriage or mine.

Alan Lupo, a veteran Boston columnist who appears regularly on these pages, can be reached at alupo@comcast.net

Message from Marc Solomon, Campaign Director, MassEquality:

This afternoon the Senate elected pro-equality Senator Therese Murray (D-Plymouth and Barnstable) as its next leader. This follows the resignation of Senate President Robert Travaglini.

This is terrific news. Senator Murray is a long-time friend of the gay community and a strong supporter of equality. With her at the helm, we are one step closer to defeating this discriminatory effort to take away marriage rights from gay and lesbian couples.

Please email Senate President Murray today congratulating her on her historic victory (she is the first woman to lead either branch of the legislature). Please thank her for her opposition to the discriminatory, anti-marriage Constitutional amendmentand ask her to use her new leadership position to defeat this amendment once and for all.

You can be sure that our opponents will be putting relentless pressure on her to advance the meanspirited amendment to the ballot. So it is critically important that she hear from pro-equality voices from all over the state. Tell her how much you appreciate her past votes, and let her know that you believe it is WRONG to vote on rights. Please email Senate President Murray today!

Thanks so much for your leadership. Together, we will prevail.

Marilyn Humphries, Karen Kahn, and I consider the Courting Equality blog our foray into public discussion about the efforts that so many of us in the LGBT community, along with our straight allies, are making to expand democracy. The civil rights of LGBT people to marry are on the line in so many states and a renewed commitment to democracy is the challenge that lays before us.

We decided to try to publish Courting Equality: A Documentary History of America’s First Legal Same-Sex Marriages to document what so many of us have worked for in Massachusetts.  The photos, stories, and history, we hope, will serve as an inspiration. Some pre-publication reviewers have even suggested that the book offers strategies for other states. We know that it offers hope–even as we struggle to maintain our gains in MA.

LGBT people and our allies who care about the civil rights of all people need to be engaged in the democratic process. At first it may seem intimidating to contact legislators, work on their campaigns, get them to know who we are, and what we care about, but one can learn the process with allies and have fun doing it. Our involvement enlivens democracy.

Pat Gozemba