Monthly Archives: April 2008

Gay Marriage and the New York Times: Who’s Disgusted?

Posted on April 30, 2008 | 5 comments

timescover1.jpg

This Ozzie and Ozzie 50s retro photo of two men thrilled with each other on the cover of the New York Times Magazine (April 28, 2008) caught my attention and made me smile. The new face of marriage equality! Many of the guys in the story remind me of the hip and very cute young men whom Marilyn Humphries captured in her 2007 book on the history of marriage equality in Massachusetts, Courting Equality (Beacon Press). For the Times story, “Young Gay Rites,” photographer Erwin Olaf did a great job of making the guys look as American as apple pie. Unfortunately, the Times used all white guys—a big faux pas and a distortion of the same-sex marriage reality in Massachusetts.

Reading through the article, I wondered, “Where do these young guys get all of the money to be living in such great places and enjoying all of the comforts of life?”  Good sense took over. I chided my Cranky Old Lesbian self and realized that the young gay newlyweds (and newly divorced) in the article are just like all the young heterosexual newlyweds (and newly divorced) couples in popular magazines.  Life appears seamless. This is an image that I am happy to have young gay people see. They deserve the right to the American dream machine fantasies that their peers have. All of us should be equally open to the dream machine as economic reality crashes in.

So, my working class self initially got disgusted with the class privilege the Times portrayed but I did get over it.

Will the LGBT folks who are militantly against marriage equality and disgusted with it get over it so easily? I eagerly await their rants.

How long will it take for the right-wing political opponents of equality for LGBT people such as Bill Bennett, Maggie Gallagher, Brian Camenker, and their ilk to show their disgust?

The disgust of the religious fundamentalists is out there already. Rev. R. Albert Mohler, president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY and talk radio host, read the Times and is stirring up fear with, “The New Face of Gay Marriage.”

Mohler comments on the article in detail (he seems obsessed by how we live our lives) and he frets about how “normal” some of the couples want to “appear.” I can only imagine a young gay Baptist kid hearing Mohler’s radio show and realizing that there are gays marrying and living in the American dream machine. Hope that the kid’s library gets the New York Times.

Mohler raises the key question that opponents of marriage equality love to dwell on, how gay marriage will affect straight marriage. He, like most political and religious fundamentalists, looks at the issue as a larger cultural one: “If the legalization of same-sex marriage is changing homosexual culture, is it also changing heterosexual marriage?”

Wow. All the demographics about divorce rates in heterosexual marriages point to a need for help. First, gay people led sexually promiscuous lives that made our life style look alluring to straight people—and probably wrecked their marriages. Now we are following their conservative impulse of marrying and they want to claim that we are wrecking their marriages.

Given the national failure rates of heterosexual marriage, I think heterosexual marriage needs help. Keep in mind that the latest statistics from 2005 show Massachusetts as the state with the lowest divorce rate in the US.  A distinction that we have had for a number of years.

The state of Massachusetts granted civil marriage rights to gays beginning on May 17, 2004. Nearly 10,000 LGBT couples have married. Local and vocal opponents of marriage equality in
Massachusetts such as Brian Camenker and Kris Mineau have been unable to come up with one solid example of how marriage equality has damaged the institution of marriage. The reality-TV show of marriage equality has been running in our state for nearly four years now and tells the story.

Communities across the state celebrate gay marriage. When I tell people that I want to maintain a Massachusetts residency because I am married and protected here by the Massachusetts Constitution, folks get it. No one has mentioned that his or her heterosexual marriage has been downgraded in any way.

People disgusted by our equality ought to be spending more time thinking about the promises of liberty and justice. In its own way, the New York Times has prompted millions to do just that with its cover piece on marriage and young gay men.

Let’s hear it for Ozzie and Ozzie. They’re a lot cuter than Ozzie and Harriet and their taste is impeccable. They give a Cranky Old Lesbian great decorating ideas. I’m not disgusted, just a bit economically envious but very happy that in their 20s they have a civil right to marriage in Massachusetts.

 

Patricia A. Gozemba

 

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Posted in civil rights, gay marriage, marriage equality, Massachusetts

Hope for Marriage Equality in Tennessee

Posted on April 28, 2008 | Leave a comment

Nationwide evangelicals in the Protestant tradition and Catholics are the religious groups most opposed  to marriage equality. Can the LGBT community in Tennessee, a state that has more than its fair share of evangelicals, ever have any hope for same-sex marriage? I believe it does based on the Massachusetts marriage equality victory in a state over 50% Catholic. Additionally, another huge asset that Tennessee has going for it is the commitment to equality that we discovered among young law students, straight and gay, at the University of Tennessee Law School.

On April 16th, Karen Kahn and I spoke at the UT Law School about our book, Courting Equality, and the history of our struggle in Massachusetts to achieve same-sex marriage equality. The straight and gay students in the Lambda Legal group were informed, open-minded, and committed.

Prior to travelling to Tennessee, I read an article on Tennessee attitudes about marriage equality by Chris Sanders, the president of the Tennessee Equality Project. Sanders, using 2008 data from a Middle Tennessee State University poll, points out that 66% of those surveyed in TN opposed gay marriage. Discouraging news. He also cites the 2008 report of the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, noting that 51% of Tennesseans consider themselves part of the protestant evangelical tradition–while the national average is 26%. With such overwhelming numbers of evangelicals in the state, it is not surprising that anti-LGBT legislation continues to emerge in the legislature.

But we offer the experience of Massachusetts as a source of hope. In our heavily-Catholic state, our Supreme Judicial Court in November 2003, nonetheless ruled in favor of marriage equality. Our legislature which is more than 50% Catholic (in 2004 it was 67% Catholic), protected the court decision from a 2008 ballot amendment to undo marriage equality.

MassEquality.org and those close to the lobbying process over the 4 1/2 years since the court decision came down assert that having ordinary people come out and tell their stories to their families, communities, and legislators won hearts and minds.

In contrast to the news on the numbers of evangelicals in Tennessee, Sanders has good news too. First, he cites a 2008 Williams Institute analysis of US Census data for Tennessee that shows a 33% increase in the number of same-sex couples who are identifying themselves on government surveys. This step of  “coming out” is critical in changing hearts and minds in families, communities, the legislature, and in religious communities themselves. Second, Sanders points out the obvious but often ignored fact that, “many members of the GLBT community come from and continue to be part of evangelical congregations.” He  added “we already have thousands of connections.” Indeed they do. Read more of what Sanders has to say . . ..

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Posted in civil rights, gay marriage, marriage equality, religion

“Truthiness,” the Presidential Election, and LGBT Rights

Posted on April 11, 2008 | 1 comment

Our LGBT community, just like the broader Democratic community, is split on supporting Obama or Clinton. We’re a substantial minority group too–at least 10%–and we vote and donate money. Not surprising that candidates are courting us with promises of equality.

Clinton’s most recent appearance on Ellen (see my post of April 10th and listen to Clinton’s story) made me reflect on what Stephen Colbert would call her “truthiness” in her recollection of a story about her parents and their gay neighbors. In turn, I am now trying to get a reading on Obama’s “truthiness.” No, I don’t have a “truthiness-meter” but wouldn’t it be a great device to have?

Yesterday I pondered why I had never heard before Clinton’s story about her ageing parents and their gay male neighbors who befriended them. After all, it related to gay people and to her parents at a particularly vulnerable period in their lives. Isn’t it the kind of story that a politician would trot out early and often in interviews with the LGBT media? But it appears just this week as we bear down on the Pennsylvania primary. The great part about the story is that it tugs at all the right heart-strings: death of a parent and the good gays to the rescue. How could a government deny civil rights to the guy who held Clinton’s father’s hand as he died? Indeed.

I want to believe the story but . . . echoes of Bosnia run through my head.

In contrast, Obama’s April 10th interview with The Advocate has a brief personal story about a gay person who influenced him, a professor of his at Occidental:

“Somebody else who influenced me, I actually had a professor at Occidental — now, this is embarrassing because I might screw up his last name — Lawrence Golden, I think it was. He was a wonderful guy. He was the first openly gay professor that I had ever come in contact with, or openly gay person of authority that I had come in contact with. And he was just a terrific guy. He wasn’t proselytizing all the time, but just his comfort in his own skin and the friendship we developed helped to educate me on a number of these issues.” 

I can’t quite figure out why this has more of a ring of “truthiness” to it than Clinton’s story. Perhaps it’s because in the same interview Obama says flat out:

1. “I reasonably can see ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ eliminated.”

2. “I think that I can help usher through an Employment Non-Discrimination Act and sign it into law.”

3.  “The third thing I believe I can get done is in dealing with federal employees, making sure that their benefits, that their ability to transfer health or pension benefits the same way that opposite-sex couples do, is something that I’m interested in making happen and I think can be done with some opposition, some turbulence, but I think we can get that done.”

4. “And finally, an area that I’m very interested in is making sure that federal benefits are available to same-sex couples who have a civil union. I think as more states sign civil union bills into law the federal government should be helping to usher in a time when there’s full equality in terms of what that means for federal benefits.”

Read the whole article in The Advocate.

In the interest of full disclosure and “truthiness,” I voted for Clinton. Stay tuned.

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Posted in 2008 election, civil rights, marriage equality

Does Ellen Believe Hillary?

Posted on April 10, 2008 | 2 comments

On April 7th, Hillary appeared on the Ellen show and told a very touching story about two gay neighbors of her parents. She told in detail a story about her parents’ connection to the two gay men and how her parents actually came to rely quite a bit on them. Ellen ate it up and so did the audience. I want to believe it but I have questions.

How can we have faith in this touching story, knowing as we do that it is emerging now after many months of campaigning?

Did this story affect Hillary before the telling of it on the Ellen show on April 7th?

Why haven’t stories like this made Hillary realize that she should be advocating for the total repeal of DOMA?

Watch the video and see what you think.

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Posted in 2008 election, civil rights

Marriage Equality:EU Backs Pension Rights

Posted on April 2, 2008 | Leave a comment

For those who do not believe that marriage equality is important, my hope is that you live long enough to be thinking about retirement and pension rights. As we age or as even young people become unable to work because of illness or disability thoughts inevitably turn to “how will we survive economically?”

European nations generally provide superior social benefits to all their people than the US does. Start with lifelong health care. Sure people pay for the benefits in taxes but taxes are more genuinely equitable across the spectrum of wealth. There is a genuine sense of creating a common wealth and providing safety nets. Pension benefits are next.

European nations like Belgium and the Netherlands led the way by providing LGBT citizens with opportunities for marriage equality. Spain, a preponderantly Catholic country, followed by approving gay marriage and reaffirming it in the reelection of the government that granted the right.

Nine other countries, including Germany, offer legal partnerships that grant the same rights as marriage. On March 31st, the European Court of Justice ruled that a German man has a right to his same-sex partner’s pension. The EU Court of Justice is inching the cause of equality closer to true equity. At the same time, the court is cutting through the nuanced compromises that we have had to make in achieving our rights: legal partnerships, domestic partnerships, civil unions.

The BBC in reporting on this landmark legal victory noted:

Although German law considers only heterosexual unions as marriage, the ruling makes it clear that any country in the EU that gives same-sex couples rights equivalent to marriage should treat the two as comparable.

As in Massachusetts where the Supreme Judicial Court had the guts to say civil unions are not equal, so in Europe another court is cutting through the charade.

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Posted in civil rights, European marriage equality, gay marriage