Category Archives: civil rights

Does Ellen Believe Hillary?

On April 7th, Hillary appeared on the Ellen show and told a very touching story about two gay neighbors of her parents. She told in detail a story about her parents’ connection to the two gay men and how her parents actually came to rely quite a bit on them. Ellen ate it up and so did the audience. I want to believe it but I have questions.

How can we have faith in this touching story, knowing as we do that it is emerging now after many months of campaigning?

Did this story affect Hillary before the telling of it on the Ellen show on April 7th?

Why haven’t stories like this made Hillary realize that she should be advocating for the total repeal of DOMA?

Watch the video and see what you think.

Marriage Equality:EU Backs Pension Rights

For those who do not believe that marriage equality is important, my hope is that you live long enough to be thinking about retirement and pension rights. As we age or as even young people become unable to work because of illness or disability thoughts inevitably turn to “how will we survive economically?”

European nations generally provide superior social benefits to all their people than the US does. Start with lifelong health care. Sure people pay for the benefits in taxes but taxes are more genuinely equitable across the spectrum of wealth. There is a genuine sense of creating a common wealth and providing safety nets. Pension benefits are next.

European nations like Belgium and the Netherlands led the way by providing LGBT citizens with opportunities for marriage equality. Spain, a preponderantly Catholic country, followed by approving gay marriage and reaffirming it in the reelection of the government that granted the right.

Nine other countries, including Germany, offer legal partnerships that grant the same rights as marriage. On March 31st, the European Court of Justice ruled that a German man has a right to his same-sex partner’s pension. The EU Court of Justice is inching the cause of equality closer to true equity. At the same time, the court is cutting through the nuanced compromises that we have had to make in achieving our rights: legal partnerships, domestic partnerships, civil unions.

The BBC in reporting on this landmark legal victory noted:

Although German law considers only heterosexual unions as marriage, the ruling makes it clear that any country in the EU that gives same-sex couples rights equivalent to marriage should treat the two as comparable.

As in Massachusetts where the Supreme Judicial Court had the guts to say civil unions are not equal, so in Europe another court is cutting through the charade.

A Teenager’s Response to Rep. Sally Kern’s Hatred

 From the Unitarian Interweave list:

The aunt of an Oklahoma high school senior writes:

Today my nephew attempted to deliver a letter to Sally Kern but was stopped by a highway patrolman. With his permission I am distributing the letter to all news stations and thought I would include it here.

Maybe we can all stand to learn a listen from this smart, loving, young man. He more than most has reason to hate. He lost his mother, my sister, in the Murrah Building bombing.

Elizabeth

He writes:

Rep Kern:

On April 19, 1995, in Oklahoma City a terrorist detonated a bomb that killed my mother and 167 others.  19 children died that day. Had I not had the chicken pox that day, the body count would likely have included one more.  Over 800 other Oklahomans were injured that day and many of those still suffer through their permanent wounds.

That terrorist was neither a homosexual or was he involved in Islam.
He was an extremist Christian forcing his views through a body count.
He held his beliefs and made those who didn’t live up to them paid with their lives.

As you were not a resident of Oklahoma on that day, it could be explained why you so carelessly chose words saying that the homosexual agenda is worst than terrorism. I can most certainly tell you through my own experience that is not true. I am sure there are many people in your voting district that laid a loved one to death after the terrorist attack on Oklahoma City.  I kind of doubt you’ll find one of them that will agree with you.

I was five years old when my mother died. I remember what a beautiful, wise, and remarkable woman she was.  I miss her.  Your harsh words and misguided beliefs brought me to tears, because you told me that my mother’s killer was a better person than a group of people that are seeking safety and tolerance for themselves.

As someone left motherless and victimized by terrorists, I say to you very clearly you are absolutely wrong.

You represent a district in Oklahoma City and you very coldly express a lack of love, sympathy or understanding for what they’ve been through.  Can I ask if you might have chosen wiser words were you a real Oklahoman who was here to share the suffering with Oklahoma City?
Might your heart be a bit less cold had you been around to see the small bodies of children being pulled out of rubble and carried away by weeping firemen?

I’ve spent 12 years in Oklahoma public schools and never once have I had anyone try to force a gay agenda on me. I have seen, however, many gay students beat up and there’s never a day in school that has went by when I haven’t heard the word **** slung at someone.  I’ve been called gay slurs many times and they hurt and I am not even gay so I can just imagine how a real gay person feels. You were a school teacher and you have seen those things too. How could you care so little about the suffering of some of your students?

Let me tell you the result of your words in my school. Every openly gay and suspected gay in the school were having to walk together Monday for protection.  They looked scared.  They’ve already experienced enough hate and now your words gave other students even more motivation to sneer at them and call them names. Afterall, you are a teacher and a lawmaker; many young people have taken your words to heart.  That happens when you assume a role of responsibility in your community. I seriously think before this week ends that some kids here will be going home bruised and bloody because of what you said.

I wish you could’ve met my mom.  Maybe she could’ve guided you in how a real Christian should be acting and speaking.

I have not had a mother for nearly 13 years now and wonder if there were fewer people like you around, people with more love and tolerance in their hearts instead of strife, if my mom would be here to watch me graduate from high school this spring.  Now she won’t be there. So I’ll be packing my things and leaving Oklahoma to go to college elsewhere and one day be a writer and I have no intentions to ever return here.  I have no doubt that people like you will incite crazy people to build more bombs and kill more people again.  I don’t want to be here for that.  I just can’t go through that again.

You may just see me as a kid, but let me try to teach you something.
The old saying is sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you.  Well, your words hurt me.  Your words disrespected the memory of my mom.

Your words can cause others to pick up sticks and stones and hurt others.

Sincerely

Tucker

Gays, Muslims, and Rep. Sally Kern

This is what Rep. Sally Kern has to say about gays and Muslims. Watch our community’s smart response.

Kern insults Muslims as well as the LGBT community. She is a very scared woman lashing out at those she wishes to demonize in order to make herself and her “kind” look better. And who is her “kind?” Unfortunately for the decent Christians in this country, it is followers of Christ–like Kerns.

Pass it on to other folks. We need to expose every “Sally Kern” in this country.

California Marriage Equality–“How Long?”

Martin Luther King, Jr. repeatedly asked, “How long?” How long until justice will come?

Just so our gay marriage allies in California like Molly McKay and Davina Kotulski, a couple for 12 years and activists for 10 years on this issue, continue their fight for the civil right of marriage.

King, an inveterate worker in the struggle for justice, persisted doggedly in the face of daunting odds. McKay and Kotulski and their allies in Marriage Equality USA now focus their energies on the California Supreme Court to seek justice. McKay and Kotulski were at the court for the historic argument on March 4, 2008 as were John Lewis and Stuart Gaffney, a couple for over 20 years.

Gaffney explained to interviewers that his interracial parents had to rely on the same court over 60 years ago to be allowed to marry. Now he and his partner Lewis hope the court will grant them the same civil right to marry that it granted to his parents.

The California legislature has voted for marriage equality twice. Twice the governor has vetoed the bill. Couples will not have to continue asking “How long” forever. The court must rule within 90 days. Not long.

Ellen, Murder, and Love in California

My point—and I have one—is that there is a connection between murder and love in the current highly charged culture war going on in California around the issue of marriage equality. Ellen almost makes the point.

 

Today the CA Supreme Court will hear a landmark case that seeks to bring marriage equality to millions of the state’s LGBT citizens. On February 12, 2008, 15 year-old Larry King of Oxnard, CA was murdered by a fellow eighth grader, Brandon, whom he asked to be his Valentine. My argument seems like a leap, but stay with me.

 

Ellen DeGeneres spoke up about Larry’s murder on her Leap Year Show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcMEL3_YsVI 

 

Millions of Ellen’s fans watched her thoughtful commentary on Larry’s murder, and over 137,000 have caught it on YouTube. Her arguments prompted over 840 viewers to write a comment on the YouTube site and 14 others to post video responses. Thousands then watch those videos. Well, you get it, the multiplier effect. When Ellen speaks, millions of fans listen and studio audiences go wild. A very good thing.

 

Ellen talks about the seeds of violence against gay people: punch lines in comedy monologues, gay jokes, verbal and physical abuse that can escalate into murder. I call it The Violence Escalator (see below). Very important information. Had she taken note of the current anti-gay marriage climate that is being whipped up in CA, folks might have made one more important connection. Climates of hate breed violence.

 

Today in California’s highest court, the Alliance Defense Fund and their ilk will argue that gay people are not worthy of marriage equality. For months, paid signature-gatherers funded by anti-marriage equality groups such as the Colorado-based Focus on the Family and the Virginia-based National Organization for Marriage have been all over California spreading the word of hate against gay people. In shopping centers, outside movie theatres, near coffee shops, the public is learning that they can stand up for prejudice and hate by signing the ballot petition for the November 2008 election to put marriage equality discrimination into the California constitution.

 

While I’m grateful to Ellen for what she did say, I wish that she had made that last connection: bigots are actively stirring up hate in California. In a climate of hate, innocent kids like Larry get murdered because they think that they are as free to love as everyone else. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Violence EscalatorViolence starts small but can escalate steadily and rapidly. Here are some of the steps: 

STEP 1 Jokes that disparage classes of people (i.e. women, lesbians, people of color)

STEP 2 Slurs that demean (i.e. “fag,” “bitch,” “gook”)

STEP 3 Threats and blackmail

STEP 4 Bullying that becomes physical

STEP 5 Psychological threats and bullying

STEP 6 Physical violence

STEP 7 Murder

Oscars, The L-Word, and LGBT Equality

Honolulu, HI–Being blessed by being in the middle of the Pacific, I could at an early hour channel surf between the glitz of the 80th Annual Oscars and The L-Word where Captain Tasha Williams, a decorated Iraq veteran, was getting drummed out of the military for homosexual conduct.

I kept hoping that in my ADD surfing behavior I wouldn’t miss the by-now-expected “gay moment” on the Oscars. Fortunately, I didn’t and the moment was a triumph for all of us struggling for LGBT civil rights.

In the midst of the Oscar’s garish sets, the wonders of technology allowed us to be transported to the desert in Iraq. There male and female military personnel, in the only costumes they get to wear, desert camouflague fatigues, presented the nominees for Best Short Documentary.

For me the irony sizzled. One nominee, Sari’s Mother, shows how the US has thrown the Iraqi medical system into disarray. Another, Freeheld, demonstrates that the freedom and liberty that some LGBT citizens fight for abroad are not theirs at home. And the Oscar went to Freeheld!

Freeheld tells the brave story of the final months of a New Jersey police officer’s fight with cancer and with the elected Board of Freeholders that governs Ocean County, NJ. Garden State Equality, especially the ever resourceful and impassioned Steve Goldstein, plays a crucial role in the poignant struggle of Detective Lieutenant Laurel Hester’s battle for her domestic partner Stacie Andree’s right to her pension benefits and financial security. Lieutenant Hester and Garden State Equality are the heroes of this wrenching saga.

I was stunned by the film’s power when I saw it last spring at the Boston Lesbian and Gay Film Festival and not surprised at all when it walked away with a Boston festival prize, a Sundance, and now an Oscar.

The L-Word’s fictional Captain Williams fighting a military court and the real Lieutenant Hester struggling for justice throw into sharp relief the discrimination LGBT people suffer and the bravery of those who will not accept it. Military and police officers put themselves in harm’s way for our safety. Injustice seems all the more ironic in the denial of their equality.

Suzanne Brockmann Courts Equality

Courting equality with romance, thrills, and suspense
by Patricia A. Gozemba
Bay Windows Contributor
Thursday Feb 21, 2008

Reading the dedication to Suzanne Brockmann’s novel Hot Target blew me away. NY Times best-selling romance author Brockmann came out as the mother of a gay son, explained his coming out, lauded PFLAG (Parents Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), and became an instant role model of a straight ally for millions of readers of the romance-thriller-suspense genre. Not exactly the crowd one would routinely target to win over to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) equality movement. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Read the whole article.

Dads for Lesbian Daughters

from the Washington Blade Online

‘Family man’ tries to overturn Wis. gay marriage ban
Wants state to vote on marriage, civil unions as separate questions
(AP) | Dec 10, 3:10 PM

Few people took Bill McConkey seriously when he filed a lawsuit in July trying to overturn Wisconsin’s new ban on gay marriage and civil unions.

The relatively unknown University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh political science instructor was acting as his own lawyer and didn’t have the backing of the state’s major gay rights group.

But his challenge to the amendment — approved by 59 percent of voters last year — has picked up steam in recent weeks.

A Dane County judge ruled the lawsuit can go forward on grounds that McConkey was harmed as a voter by the wording of the question. McConkey claims the referendum illegally asked two questions in one — whether to ban gay marriage and whether to ban civil unions — and he wants the state to vote on each question.

So, who is this guy and why is he doing this? More

What’s great about this story is that we have another father coming out for his lesbian daughter’s civil rights. Bill McConkey joins San Diego mayor Jerry Sanders and probably millions of other fathers who support their children’s right to be legally connected and hopefully married to the person whom they love most in the world.

In suing for his civil right to be able to vote on gay marriage and civil unions as two separate ballot questions, McConkey, a political science professor at UW-Oshkosh presses for his legal rights as well as his daughter’s.

McConkey believes that the Wisconsin electorate would not have defeated civil unions in the 2006 election, but he concedes that gay marriage was probably doomed. He does believe, however, that gay marriage is a constitutional right. “I think ultimately I would say under the U.S. Constitution, the way it’s written, we cannot constitutionally deny the right of gay people to be married. Neither can the government order a church and say you have to marry gay people.”

Sanders like McConkey sees gay marriage as a civil right. He put a lot of his political capital on the line when he came all the way out for his daughter Lisa in pressing for gay marriage. As a California resident, Lisa Sanders, already had the right to enter into a domestic partnership that grants her all the rights and privileges of marriage. But as her dad poignantly noted what she does not have is the right to call herself married. On the day before he was kicking off his re-election campaign, September 19, 2007, he decided to, in his words, “lead with my heart.”

An emotional Mayor Sanders reversed his previous pledge to veto the San Diego City Council’s 5-3 vote to support gay marriage. He cited his acquaintances, staff, and most significantly his daughter, whose rights he could no longer deny. “In the end, I couldn’t look any of them in the face and tell them that their relationships, their very lives, were any less meaningful than the marriage I share with my wife, Rana,” said Sanders.

Ever since I began doing research for Courting Equality, I’ve been consistently impressed with the power of parents in support of their children’s civil rights. Their support is inspired by love and fired by a patriotic belief that all of their kids should have the same rights. In Courting Equality, one of Marilyn Humphries’ compelling photos shows a mother at a 2004 Massachusetts Constitutional Convention holding a sign that reads, “My Son Is Not a Second-Class Citizen.” Her sign says it all!

As parents speak out, politicians begin to listen more intently and then more politicians speak out. As both the electorate and the elected speak out the circle of equality is expanded.

 

Marriage Equality at Lesbian Herstory Archives

I never cease to be inspired by the work of the dedicated volunteers at Lesbian Herstory Archives (LHA) in Brooklyn, NY. Their commitment has continued to keep this important institution that is independently preserving our history, alive and lively. The vision of Joan Nestle and Deb Edel in founding LHA stands as one of the great accomplishments of the contemporary lesbian movement.

Maxine Wolfe, a seasoned lesbian political activist in many realms but notably in the women and HIV/AIDS movement, hosted the full house at the “At Home at the Archives” event featuring Courting Equality on November 25th. Maxine’s volunteer labor is typical of the energy that keeps the archives vital.

Maxine shared with the assembled group how LHA’s files on “marriage” have changed. “Marriage” used to be mostly about lesbians once married to men. Then the topic exploded as countries around the world and various US states became the sites of struggle for same-sex marriage. In the past three years, the files have begun to expand exponentially. The great part of the story is that once again LHA is preserving our herstory.

When Karen Kahn and I presented at LHA, what was distinctive about the event was the spirit of inquiry and the commitment to thoughtful exchange in the dialogue. In a sense, bringing to LHA our presentation about Courting Equality and the civil rights struggle that it details was like returning to our roots of lesbian feminism.

Even after Karen and I had committed to writing Courting Equality in the spring of 2005, we still had not decided that we would marry. We had engaged in the political lobbying for marriage equality as a civil rights struggle but not seen it as a personal goal for ourselves. We believed that marriage was a right that one should be able to exercise, not necessarily a life goal. Our critique of the institution of marriage had deep roots in our lesbian feminism of the 1970s. That same critique of marriage as an institution was held by many who came to LHA on November 25th.

The conversation probed the roots of marriage as it had been critiqued in particular by lesbian feminists in the 1970s. Karen and I were among that lively group of critics in the 1970s and have remained so. One of the thoughts that we came away from LHA with is the possibility that same-sex marriage may just provide the testing ground for new visions and versions of marriage to emerge. The gender stereotyping that feminists critiqued so meaningfully from the 1960s on went a long way towards liberating women and creating new options in our lives.

Lesbian feminist critiques of same-sex marriage may well liberate marriage. What’s critical is keeping the conversation going. What do you think about the possibility of liberating marriage?