California, we are so happy to have you join us. It’s hardly a “from sea to shining sea moment” of marriage equality, but now Massachusetts and California have shown the country that equal marriage is fundamental to freedom and liberty. The threats to the marriage equality movement in California will probably continue, just as they have in Massachusetts. But oh, for this moment, our country feels like a “sweet land of liberty.” All these patriotic refrains keep running through my head! More
Posted in california, civil rights, gay marriage, marriage equality
In a historic ruling, today the California Supreme Court ruled that California’s separate but equal system of relationship recognition is unconstitutional. California grants the rights and benefits of marriage to same-sex couples under its domestic partnership law. The word “marriage” however has been reserved for heterosexual couples. Now California joins Massachusetts, granting marriage equality to same-sex couples and their families. Read the full decision.
Posted in Uncategorized
Mildred Loving’s recent death brought to mind the courage that she and her husband Richard had when they took their case, to marry to the US Supreme Court. As an interracial couple, their marriage was prohibited in the state of
Virginia. In 1967, the Supreme Court ruled, based on the Equal Protection Clause and the Due Process Clause principles, that prohibiting marriage on the basis of race was unconstitutional.
The Loving victory in 1967 made possible the Goodridge v. Department of Public Health same-sex marriage victory in Massachusetts in 2003. On June 12, 2007, the Fortieth Anniversary of Loving v. Virginia, Mildred Loving issued a statement demonstrating her continued understanding and evolution in thinking about the power of being able to marry the person one loves.
“I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. Government has no business imposing some people’s religious beliefs over others. Especially if it denies people’s civil rights.â€
Mildred Loving “gets it†about equality. But the state of Virgina still does not. In 2006, voters there overwhelmingly passed an anti-marriage and anti-relationship recognition constitutional amendment. They win the prize for one of the most hateful amendments in the US. What is it about Virgina?
As a Black woman in the 1960s, Loving had little recourse to protection through a powerful position or connections. When she and her husband lost their case to marry in Virginia, they were ordered to leave the state and never to return or travel together in the “Virginia is for lovers state.†They did not return together to their home state until 1967.
Mary Cheney, daughter of the vice president of the US, in contrast lives in an open lesbian relationship in Virginia with her partner Heather Poe and their child. Fortunately for them, as a vice president of AOL and the daughter of power, Cheney and Poe have a safety net. Something the Loving family never had.
So despite a hateful constitutional amendment that gives their family no rights or protections, Cheney and Poe can live comfortably in the “lovers state.â€Â Privilege can trump even the most hateful laws—usually. I think of the LGBT families living in Virginia who have no privilege and no connections to the White House.
Even without a $1 million book advance, Cheney could speak out for justice following the lead of Mildred Loving.Virginia could gain a modicum of honor and Cheney . . ..
Posted in civil rights, gay marriage, marriage equality, Virginia
This Ozzie and Ozzie 50s retro photo of two men thrilled with each other on the cover of the New York Times Magazine (April 28, 2008) caught my attention and made me smile. The new face of marriage equality! Many of the guys in the story remind me of the hip and very cute young men whom Marilyn Humphries captured in her 2007 book on the history of marriage equality in Massachusetts, Courting Equality (Beacon Press). For the Times story, “Young Gay Rites,†photographer Erwin Olaf did a great job of making the guys look as American as apple pie. Unfortunately, the Times used all white guys—a big faux pas and a distortion of the same-sex marriage reality in Massachusetts.
Reading through the article, I wondered, “Where do these young guys get all of the money to be living in such great places and enjoying all of the comforts of life?â€Â Good sense took over. I chided my Cranky Old Lesbian self and realized that the young gay newlyweds (and newly divorced) in the article are just like all the young heterosexual newlyweds (and newly divorced) couples in popular magazines. Life appears seamless. This is an image that I am happy to have young gay people see. They deserve the right to the American dream machine fantasies that their peers have. All of us should be equally open to the dream machine as economic reality crashes in.
So, my working class self initially got disgusted with the class privilege the Times portrayed but I did get over it.
Will the LGBT folks who are militantly against marriage equality and disgusted with it get over it so easily? I eagerly await their rants.
How long will it take for the right-wing political opponents of equality for LGBT people such as Bill Bennett, Maggie Gallagher, Brian Camenker, and their ilk to show their disgust?
The disgust of the religious fundamentalists is out there already. Rev. R. Albert Mohler, president of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY and talk radio host, read the Times and is stirring up fear with, “The New Face of Gay Marriage.â€
Mohler comments on the article in detail (he seems obsessed by how we live our lives) and he frets about how “normal†some of the couples want to “appear.†I can only imagine a young gay Baptist kid hearing Mohler’s radio show and realizing that there are gays marrying and living in the American dream machine. Hope that the kid’s library gets the New York Times.
Mohler raises the key question that opponents of marriage equality love to dwell on, how gay marriage will affect straight marriage. He, like most political and religious fundamentalists, looks at the issue as a larger cultural one: “If the legalization of same-sex marriage is changing homosexual culture, is it also changing heterosexual marriage?â€
Wow. All the demographics about divorce rates in heterosexual marriages point to a need for help. First, gay people led sexually promiscuous lives that made our life style look alluring to straight people—and probably wrecked their marriages. Now we are following their conservative impulse of marrying and they want to claim that we are wrecking their marriages.
Given the national failure rates of heterosexual marriage, I think heterosexual marriage needs help. Keep in mind that the latest statistics from 2005 show Massachusetts as the state with the lowest divorce rate in the US. A distinction that we have had for a number of years.
The state of Massachusetts granted civil marriage rights to gays beginning on May 17, 2004. Nearly 10,000 LGBT couples have married. Local and vocal opponents of marriage equality in
Massachusetts such as Brian Camenker and Kris Mineau have been unable to come up with one solid example of how marriage equality has damaged the institution of marriage. The reality-TV show of marriage equality has been running in our state for nearly four years now and tells the story.
Communities across the state celebrate gay marriage. When I tell people that I want to maintain a Massachusetts residency because I am married and protected here by the Massachusetts Constitution, folks get it. No one has mentioned that his or her heterosexual marriage has been downgraded in any way.
People disgusted by our equality ought to be spending more time thinking about the promises of liberty and justice. In its own way, the New York Times has prompted millions to do just that with its cover piece on marriage and young gay men.
Let’s hear it for Ozzie and Ozzie. They’re a lot cuter than Ozzie and Harriet and their taste is impeccable. They give a Cranky Old Lesbian great decorating ideas. I’m not disgusted, just a bit economically envious but very happy that in their 20s they have a civil right to marriage in Massachusetts.
Patricia A. Gozemba
Posted in civil rights, gay marriage, marriage equality, Massachusetts
Nationwide evangelicals in the Protestant tradition and Catholics are the religious groups most opposed to marriage equality. Can the LGBT community in Tennessee, a state that has more than its fair share of evangelicals, ever have any hope for same-sex marriage? I believe it does based on the Massachusetts marriage equality victory in a state over 50% Catholic. Additionally, another huge asset that Tennessee has going for it is the commitment to equality that we discovered among young law students, straight and gay, at the University of Tennessee Law School.
On April 16th, Karen Kahn and I spoke at the UT Law School about our book, Courting Equality, and the history of our struggle in Massachusetts to achieve same-sex marriage equality. The straight and gay students in the Lambda Legal group were informed, open-minded, and committed.
Prior to travelling to Tennessee, I read an article on Tennessee attitudes about marriage equality by Chris Sanders, the president of the Tennessee Equality Project. Sanders, using 2008 data from a Middle Tennessee State University poll, points out that 66% of those surveyed in TN opposed gay marriage. Discouraging news. He also cites the 2008 report of the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, noting that 51% of Tennesseans consider themselves part of the protestant evangelical tradition–while the national average is 26%. With such overwhelming numbers of evangelicals in the state, it is not surprising that anti-LGBT legislation continues to emerge in the legislature.
But we offer the experience of Massachusetts as a source of hope. In our heavily-Catholic state, our Supreme Judicial Court in November 2003, nonetheless ruled in favor of marriage equality. Our legislature which is more than 50% Catholic (in 2004 it was 67% Catholic), protected the court decision from a 2008 ballot amendment to undo marriage equality.
MassEquality.org and those close to the lobbying process over the 4 1/2 years since the court decision came down assert that having ordinary people come out and tell their stories to their families, communities, and legislators won hearts and minds.
In contrast to the news on the numbers of evangelicals in Tennessee, Sanders has good news too. First, he cites a 2008 Williams Institute analysis of US Census data for Tennessee that shows a 33% increase in the number of same-sex couples who are identifying themselves on government surveys. This step of “coming out” is critical in changing hearts and minds in families, communities, the legislature, and in religious communities themselves. Second, Sanders points out the obvious but often ignored fact that, “many members of the GLBT community come from and continue to be part of evangelical congregations.” He added “we already have thousands of connections.” Indeed they do. Read more of what Sanders has to say . . ..
Posted in civil rights, gay marriage, marriage equality, religion
Our LGBT community, just like the broader Democratic community, is split on supporting Obama or Clinton. We’re a substantial minority group too–at least 10%–and we vote and donate money. Not surprising that candidates are courting us with promises of equality.
Clinton’s most recent appearance on Ellen (see my post of April 10th and listen to Clinton’s story) made me reflect on what Stephen Colbert would call her “truthiness” in her recollection of a story about her parents and their gay neighbors. In turn, I am now trying to get a reading on Obama’s “truthiness.” No, I don’t have a “truthiness-meter” but wouldn’t it be a great device to have?
Yesterday I pondered why I had never heard before Clinton’s story about her ageing parents and their gay male neighbors who befriended them. After all, it related to gay people and to her parents at a particularly vulnerable period in their lives. Isn’t it the kind of story that a politician would trot out early and often in interviews with the LGBT media? But it appears just this week as we bear down on the Pennsylvania primary. The great part about the story is that it tugs at all the right heart-strings: death of a parent and the good gays to the rescue. How could a government deny civil rights to the guy who held Clinton’s father’s hand as he died? Indeed.
I want to believe the story but . . . echoes of Bosnia run through my head.
In contrast, Obama’s April 10th interview with The Advocate has a brief personal story about a gay person who influenced him, a professor of his at Occidental:
“Somebody else who influenced me, I actually had a professor at Occidental — now, this is embarrassing because I might screw up his last name — Lawrence Golden, I think it was. He was a wonderful guy. He was the first openly gay professor that I had ever come in contact with, or openly gay person of authority that I had come in contact with. And he was just a terrific guy. He wasn’t proselytizing all the time, but just his comfort in his own skin and the friendship we developed helped to educate me on a number of these issues.”Â
I can’t quite figure out why this has more of a ring of “truthiness” to it than Clinton’s story. Perhaps it’s because in the same interview Obama says flat out:
1. “I reasonably can see ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ eliminated.”
2. “I think that I can help usher through an Employment Non-Discrimination Act and sign it into law.”
3.  “The third thing I believe I can get done is in dealing with federal employees, making sure that their benefits, that their ability to transfer health or pension benefits the same way that opposite-sex couples do, is something that I’m interested in making happen and I think can be done with some opposition, some turbulence, but I think we can get that done.”
4. “And finally, an area that I’m very interested in is making sure that federal benefits are available to same-sex couples who have a civil union. I think as more states sign civil union bills into law the federal government should be helping to usher in a time when there’s full equality in terms of what that means for federal benefits.”
Read the whole article in The Advocate.
In the interest of full disclosure and “truthiness,” I voted for Clinton. Stay tuned.
Posted in 2008 election, civil rights, marriage equality
On April 7th, Hillary appeared on the Ellen show and told a very touching story about two gay neighbors of her parents. She told in detail a story about her parents’ connection to the two gay men and how her parents actually came to rely quite a bit on them. Ellen ate it up and so did the audience. I want to believe it but I have questions.
How can we have faith in this touching story, knowing as we do that it is emerging now after many months of campaigning?
Did this story affect Hillary before the telling of it on the Ellen show on April 7th?
Why haven’t stories like this made Hillary realize that she should be advocating for the total repeal of DOMA?
Watch the video and see what you think.
Posted in 2008 election, civil rights
For those who do not believe that marriage equality is important, my hope is that you live long enough to be thinking about retirement and pension rights. As we age or as even young people become unable to work because of illness or disability thoughts inevitably turn to “how will we survive economically?”
European nations generally provide superior social benefits to all their people than the US does. Start with lifelong health care. Sure people pay for the benefits in taxes but taxes are more genuinely equitable across the spectrum of wealth. There is a genuine sense of creating a common wealth and providing safety nets. Pension benefits are next.
European nations like Belgium and the Netherlands led the way by providing LGBT citizens with opportunities for marriage equality. Spain, a preponderantly Catholic country, followed by approving gay marriage and reaffirming it in the reelection of the government that granted the right.
Nine other countries, including Germany, offer legal partnerships that grant the same rights as marriage. On March 31st, the European Court of Justice ruled that a German man has a right to his same-sex partner’s pension. The EU Court of Justice is inching the cause of equality closer to true equity. At the same time, the court is cutting through the nuanced compromises that we have had to make in achieving our rights: legal partnerships, domestic partnerships, civil unions.
The BBC in reporting on this landmark legal victory noted:
Although German law considers only heterosexual unions as marriage, the ruling makes it clear that any country in the EU that gives same-sex couples rights equivalent to marriage should treat the two as comparable.
As in Massachusetts where the Supreme Judicial Court had the guts to say civil unions are not equal, so in Europe another court is cutting through the charade.
 From the Unitarian Interweave list:
The aunt of an Oklahoma high school senior writes:
Today my nephew attempted to deliver a letter to Sally Kern but was stopped by a highway patrolman. With his permission I am distributing the letter to all news stations and thought I would include it here.
Maybe we can all stand to learn a listen from this smart, loving, young man. He more than most has reason to hate. He lost his mother, my sister, in the Murrah Building bombing.
Elizabeth
He writes:
Rep Kern:
On April 19, 1995, in Oklahoma City a terrorist detonated a bomb that killed my mother and 167 others. 19 children died that day. Had I not had the chicken pox that day, the body count would likely have included one more. Over 800 other Oklahomans were injured that day and many of those still suffer through their permanent wounds.
That terrorist was neither a homosexual or was he involved in Islam.
He was an extremist Christian forcing his views through a body count.
He held his beliefs and made those who didn’t live up to them paid with their lives.As you were not a resident of Oklahoma on that day, it could be explained why you so carelessly chose words saying that the homosexual agenda is worst than terrorism. I can most certainly tell you through my own experience that is not true. I am sure there are many people in your voting district that laid a loved one to death after the terrorist attack on Oklahoma City. I kind of doubt you’ll find one of them that will agree with you.
I was five years old when my mother died. I remember what a beautiful, wise, and remarkable woman she was. I miss her. Your harsh words and misguided beliefs brought me to tears, because you told me that my mother’s killer was a better person than a group of people that are seeking safety and tolerance for themselves.
As someone left motherless and victimized by terrorists, I say to you very clearly you are absolutely wrong.
You represent a district in Oklahoma City and you very coldly express a lack of love, sympathy or understanding for what they’ve been through. Can I ask if you might have chosen wiser words were you a real Oklahoman who was here to share the suffering with Oklahoma City?
Might your heart be a bit less cold had you been around to see the small bodies of children being pulled out of rubble and carried away by weeping firemen?I’ve spent 12 years in Oklahoma public schools and never once have I had anyone try to force a gay agenda on me. I have seen, however, many gay students beat up and there’s never a day in school that has went by when I haven’t heard the word **** slung at someone. I’ve been called gay slurs many times and they hurt and I am not even gay so I can just imagine how a real gay person feels. You were a school teacher and you have seen those things too. How could you care so little about the suffering of some of your students?
Let me tell you the result of your words in my school. Every openly gay and suspected gay in the school were having to walk together Monday for protection. They looked scared. They’ve already experienced enough hate and now your words gave other students even more motivation to sneer at them and call them names. Afterall, you are a teacher and a lawmaker; many young people have taken your words to heart. That happens when you assume a role of responsibility in your community. I seriously think before this week ends that some kids here will be going home bruised and bloody because of what you said.
I wish you could’ve met my mom. Maybe she could’ve guided you in how a real Christian should be acting and speaking.
I have not had a mother for nearly 13 years now and wonder if there were fewer people like you around, people with more love and tolerance in their hearts instead of strife, if my mom would be here to watch me graduate from high school this spring. Now she won’t be there. So I’ll be packing my things and leaving Oklahoma to go to college elsewhere and one day be a writer and I have no intentions to ever return here. I have no doubt that people like you will incite crazy people to build more bombs and kill more people again. I don’t want to be here for that. I just can’t go through that again.
You may just see me as a kid, but let me try to teach you something.
The old saying is sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Well, your words hurt me. Your words disrespected the memory of my mom.Your words can cause others to pick up sticks and stones and hurt others.
Sincerely
Tucker
Posted in civil rights, Gays and Religion, religion
This is what Rep. Sally Kern has to say about gays and Muslims. Watch our community’s smart response.
Kern insults Muslims as well as the LGBT community. She is a very scared woman lashing out at those she wishes to demonize in order to make herself and her “kind” look better. And who is her “kind?” Unfortunately for the decent Christians in this country, it is followers of Christ–like Kerns.
Pass it on to other folks. We need to expose every “Sally Kern” in this country.
Posted in civil rights, religion, Right-wing rant, videos
Courting Equality 